I know yesterday was technically opening day but I don’t care about the rest of baseball. I only care about the Blue Jays. So today was my opening day. 

Missed it last year as I was still just dipping a toe in the baseball waters at the time, feeling it out, seeing if it stuck.

It did. I was pretty jacked and running my yap at my many Minny Twins fan friends all day long.

Thanks to the baseball gods for giving me a pass there and not embarrassing me. 

If the Twins were expecting the Blue Jay of Happiness, they got the fucking Pterodactyl of DOOM. 

Now if we could just declare ourselves winners at everything and call it a season, that would spare a lot of Yankee- and Red Sox- and Rays-induced heartache.